July 14, 2010
Beth and I used to differ on our opinion as to whether CJ should be watching those cop/chase/world's dumbest driver type shows when he was younger. I said yes since he was seeing that criminals get caught for breaking the law. Beth did not want CJ getting any stupid ideas. She used to look at me as though my DNA was the reason he might do something stupid. I used to explain to her that the only time I did anything especially stupid, Uncle Al came along. Al K. Hol, that is. My college friend Steve was usually there too, but definitely Uncle Al. I am pretty sure CJ is not boozing it up just yet, I used to tell her.
Why do I bring this up?
Do you remember the first time you broke the law?
I remember shoplifting a Three Musketeers candy bar when I was 10 or 11 from a Walgreen's. What can I say? My allowance did not support my habit. Neither did my parents. And there it was, the giant Three Musketeer's bar.
What I learned that day is that I am a decent thief, but I could have easily been on one of those dumbest criminals shows. I hid the candy bar in the car in the back seat. Did I mention that I was 10? How was I going to get this giant candy bar in the house? I was not a well-endowed (if you know what I mean) 10 year old. No mom, I am not happy to see you, why do you ask? I guess I did realize my pants pocket could not handle one of those even more gigantic Marathon candy bars, but still.
So I was busted. I tried to tell them I paid for it, but they were not born the night before. So there we trudged, back to the Walgreen's (or maybe it was a Super X) to let dude know I had stolen the candy bar. Somewhere along the way, my mother took pity on me and just made me sneak it back in, and then take it to the counter and pay for it. I am fairly certain I was not the one noshing on said candy bar later.
So I picked CJ up from drum lessons and we headed for Grandma's house to meet Beth and celebrate Beth's mother's 77th birthday. Along the way, CJ and I stopped at a BP for drinks. Beth was stopping for the pizza. Yes, we really put on the dog for Grandma. I purchased coffees for Beth and myself. CJ and I had had a discussion about whether he could get an iced coffee. I asked if he was paying for it and he said yes. He showed me his wallet. Once in the store, I talked him out of the iced coffee since it was after 5:00 and CJ on caffeine is not an evening activity. It is a rare activity at all, so caffeine in the evening is not a smart idea. I told him he could get a small Fanta Freeze drink. It is like an Icee or Slushie if you are not familiar. So we fill up our drinks and I pay for the coffees. We walk out. We drive half way to Grandma's and I look at him having his 3rd brain freeze attack in the past 5 minutes. They say this causes no permanent damage, by the way, but I am not so sure if there are any math facts left in CJ's brain. CJ put his head between his hands, brought his brain temperature back to normal, and I asked him if he paid for this liquid dumbifier. He said, that he thought I did. Awesome.
So we got to Grandma's house and I called the BP station and talked to the manager. I told him we accidentally stole a drink, and that we would be in later to pay for it. He said not to worry about it, but I said I was not planning on teaching my son to steal until he was an adult, so we would be in.
When mom got to the party, we explained what had happened. I was not making a big deal out of it because it was an honest mistake. However, the need to call CJ a booster arose about every 5 minutes or so, just for fun. Being the "my baby can do no wrong" type of mother Beth is, she defended CJ instantly pointing out that the cup did say FREEze on it. Well, okay then.
We stopped on the way home and paid for the drink.
Happy Birthday Marybeth!!!