Tuesday, November 29, 2011

I can explain why the mermaids are on dry land today

November 29, 2011

I am somewhat sure that someone broke into our house this morning.  The odd thing is that the only thing they stole was all of our hot water.  I just went to take a shower, and about 30 seconds in, it was as if all the toilets in our house flushed at the same time.  In fact, my first thought was, "Who flushed the toilet?"  My second thought was reality setting in that I was the only one in the house.  Unless someone was upstairs helping themselves to our toilet. 


That horror movie line was left on the cutting room floor.

Then I remembered that I have a teenage son.  Beth had gotten him up and scooted him into the shower around 6:50.  Approximately 7:05, I heard the water still running.  Fearing that he may have fallen and hit his head, I rushed downstairs to the shower to find that he was okay.  I called out to him that Neptune had called and was running a quart low.

It is, actually, hard to imagine any water supply running low right now as it has rained here almost nonstop since Saturday night.  The smaller rivers in the area already have flood warnings and the mighty Ohio River is really high as well.

If water thievery weren't a good enough indicator of me not having any exciting news today, what I am going to share with you next will surely seal the deal.

Looking for an easy dinner option for two people?  Here is a recommendation.

I tried something new from The Target this week.  It was called Buitoni complete meal for two.  It is on sale buy one get the second half price.  I think they were $8 apiece making them $12 for two.  BUT THEN, if you can find the ones with the $2 off coupon on them, you start to get a really good deal.  $4 apiece was more in my price range for trying something new.  And, the one we ate last night was quite delicious.  Plus, being ravioli, it took like 6-7 minutes to prepare.  We tried the chicken and mushroom last night and also bought the shrimp and lobster.

Disclaimer alert, when one of the participants in the "dinner for two" is a teenage boy, your share may be lessened.  My goal for the next box will involve an addition of salmon or more plain ravioli or something to try to stretch it out for three of us.  I am assuming Beth would like to eat as well.

So there you go.  A rainy day in November and nothing going on.  I have a coupon for a free donut at Dunkin Donuts since one near us just had a grand opening.  Perhaps I will partake and then flop down on the couch to watch Once Upon a Time on DVR.  The witch in it is just so evil.

Maybe she stole my water.  Hmmmm.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Hold the pepper please

November 27, 2011

Today is Sunday at 6:30am.  I have been up for 30+ minutes since I fell asleep at 9:30 last night.  I had just taken my Geritol and it makes me drowsy.  Plus, the episode of Matlock was not especially intriguing.  Yes, I am trying to say I am old.  When the reality of the situation is that I am tired.

Why tired?  Can't figure it out.  I closed at The Target Wednesday night which meant working 2pm-1am.  Thanksgiving meant a trip to see Great Aunt Rhetta at 10:30 (who still thinks I am her greatest joy), and then a trip to Cracker Barrel for dinner.  Along with the rest of Cincinnati.  When we got there, they told us the wait was 97 minutes.  97.  I think they chose this arbitrary amount of time to throw us off.  First, I doubt very much that the management there had any clue how long it was going to be before they sat us.  Second, 97?  My theory is that by saying 97 minutes instead of ONE AND A HALF HOURS, they don't get as many upset people. 

Beth, being as smart as she is beautiful, decided we needed carryout.  This only took about 34 minutes and gave CJ and me time to look at some of the things in the country store there and for him to remind me what a Goofwegian he is.  It also gave us time to make fun of people's last names when they were being called to be seated.  Our personal best was when they called the Naily family.  When they had to call them a second time, we decided they must be out getting hammered.

So after a delicious CB dinner, I took a nap for a couple hours.  Then it was off to The Target at 9:30 to be ready to open at midnight.  At midnight everyone rushed in and we had a couple of crazy hours until about 3am.  Then all the guests went home and went to bed.  We waited for the second wave, and waited.  My boss finally told me to go home around 7:30.  On the way home I heard about some lady using pepper spray on other shoppers to keep them away from what she wanted to buy.  I think she was in California and Kelly can probably let us know if everyone in Cali is that cray cray.  I do not think the lady remembers that Santa sees you when you are awake too.

I grogged my way through the rest of Friday and even went out with Beth to the mall around 6pm.  The mall had a lot of foot traffic, but not many people had shopping bags.  Santa arrived while we were there and and had some elves with him who had some rather long faces.  I don't know where they go from here if they are unhappy on November 25th.  Do they realize that they have 30 days until Christmas? 

I was reminded of one of CJ's jokes from our time together Thursday.  A horse walked into a bar and the bartender asked him, "Why the long face?"  Horse: "Because I have cancer."

At lease we are not paying for his high school education.

I worked again yesterday and those of us who had done the midnight thing on Friday were making the best of it though most of us looked like zombies.  It is a good thing we weren't actually zombies as finding human brains to eat on Saturday might have been difficult.

That leads to today and I am off.  It will be nice to go to service, get some Chipotle, watch some football, and spend time with Beth and CJ.  I was going to rake the rest of the leaves today and clean out the gutters again, but it is raining.  Does anyone else hear the couch calling me? 

Be right there.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Life's funnies

November 23, 2011

Things have been a little bat poop crazy at work lately as though there was some sort of holiday shopping day coming up. Fortunately, there have been a couple of funnies that happened at work to make a small part of each day a wee bit less stressful. Now I will share a couple.

A guest came up top me in the movie department and asked if I could help him find a movie. I asked which one and he said, "Secret". I said, "I'm sorry, I can't tell you." He said, "Why not?" Some people just don't get me.

A team member was speaking with our Human Resource Manager one day and asked her if she was leaving for the day. HR lady said, "no, not yet." The team member followed this up with, "when you do go home, will you not be in your office anymore?" For the record, it is fairly common knowledge that HR lady does not live in her office.

Finally, CJ had a friend over yesterday. This friend had a birthday recently for which CJ gifted him a PlayStation Network card and some Snausages. The Snausages were a gag gift since this friend has shared with CJ that he detests the Snausages commercial with every fiber of his being. Ever since we learned that at our house, we randomly yell out, SNAUSAGES whenever this friend comes over. Us, gracious hosts since, like, never.

So I was taking friend home last night and I asked him if he had eaten his Snausages yet. He said no. I asked why he did not want his coat to be thick and shiny. He thought for a second and followed up with, "I guess I could feed them to my coat."

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The prettiest princess of all was sitting on my front porch

November 1, 2011

I have a couple of updates here to share from October.  First, I bought CJ his first razor.  It is electric as that is what I use and my dad used.  His dad used a sharp rock or something, not sure, it was a long time ago.  It is not that CJ has 5:00 shadow every day just yet, it is more that he has 5 day scraggly hair going on.  He looks like one of those old men that misses the same little hairs every day.  You talk to them and can't stop staring at the long hair next to their ear or under their eye.  And he has that bad romance moustache thing going on.  You know, when it is obvious that they have a hairy upper lip, but it looks more like something Aunt Edna would have than Uncle Jim. 

Needless to say, Beth was a little sad about the razor.  She knew he needed one but gets a little more sad each time he takes another step into manhood.  THANK GOD he still gives us hugs.  When those go away, we will probably get arrested at the mall for randomly hugging little kids.

Speaking of little kids, we had about 180 show up at our house last night for Halloween.  Yes, there were plenty of high school kids wearing a tee shirt with a food stain on it saying their costume was "messy eater dude", but there were also plenty of adorable little children.  Beth and I always try to exchange in a dialogue about their costume and how cute or scary it is, but most of the kids are just like, "give me the damn candy and shut your pie hole!"  They have two hours to collect more candy than their parents normally let them eat in an entire year.  The most discussed costumes belonged to a set of 13 year-old twin boys we know who were only attired in Speedos and socks and shoes.  At the beginning of the night, it was in the mid 50's.  By the end, it had gone into the 40's.  Shrinkage?  DON'T LOOK!!

Actually, there were way more "trick or treats", and "thank yous", and "happy Halloweens", than there usually are.  We truly enjoy that part.

The other thing to share and record for posterity, is that the marching band season concluded this past Saturday at the OMEA State Competition in Columbus.  They received a Superior rating.  They were only the third band from this high school to complete the season with Superior ratings at all six competitions.  Congratulations to the band and all the instructors who worked so hard to make this happen.

CJ has a new app on his IPod that allows him to hack into our home computer and view or interact with whatever is going on.  He has even been known to pull up a You Tube video of a cat playing a piano to try to freak us out when we are not looking.  When I catch him, I try to interact with him.  Today, he pulled up the cat video, and I countered by typing in the You Tube search box, "CJ gets punched in the face".  There are actually videos of a CJ out there getting punched, but he is not mine.  Yet.  He just now hacked in and tried to add lines to this post until I won the contest by typing how he looked like a girl in his costume.  The student has not yet bested the master.

Besides, I am wondering why he isn't paying attention in class right now?  He forgets that his mom works at the school.  I may need to have her go to his classroom and see what shenanigans are going on.