Monday, December 27, 2010

Got any butter?

December 27, 2010

It is not too much longer that we can type 2010.  In a few short days, we will be typing 1/1/11.  Who needs curved numbers?  I know there are couples that decide to get married on special numerical days like 8/9/10, or 10/10/10, but will anyone try to get married on 1/1/11?  New Years day seems like a bad idea.  The rehearsal dinner would be off the hook, but the hangover at the wedding?  Not a great idea. 

I think these special dates and deciding to get married on them, are just a trick by the bride to get the groom to remember their anniversary.  I am skeptical that it will work, because their anniversary will never fall on the special number day again.  Will 8/9/11 be special?  I guess we will see. 

I remember the anniversary of Beth's big day because it was one of the highlights of my life.  7/27/91 was the date.  We will be married 20 years in July.  When I call it Beth's big day, I am not saying it was a bigger day for her than me, I am just reminded how everyone kept referring to the wedding as the bride's day. 

So that is not why I am here today.  First, I am off..woot, woot. Second, the holiday is over...woot, woot!  Unfortunately, I have cancelled my sister's visit as I am way too burned out to be my usual entertaining self this week.  Also, I could not get my schedule switched to accommodate the visit.  My hope is that we can get together up here sometime when it is warmer.  When CJ heard the news, he cancelled his appointment with the locksmith.  He was going to have a lock installed on his side of the basement door (aka the man cave) just in case his cousins decided to play the "hit the big kid in the nards" game.

As for the holiday season, we survived at the Target.  We had very good sales and no one got hurt.  People were ready to spend this year, but most of them waited until the very last minute.  Thursday and Friday were both wack and doodle.  By the time I left on Christmas eve, I was exhausted. 

I do, however, have one funny story to come out of the season.

One night, I pretended I was back in college, and ate a bag of microwave popcorn for dinner.  The whole bag.  It is the perfect meal for a 46 year-old intestinal tract.  The next day, I was feeling it in my innards.

I took my 2 minute break at work, and went to my favorite stall in the men's bathroom.  As I was doing some thinking, in came a man and his 3 daughters.  Apparently, he was unaware of the family bathroom we have over by the pharmacy.  It was totally relaxing to have the four of them share this experience with me.  However, the dude sounded like a very good, patient father (plenty of patience required to be the father of 3 girls, I would think).  The girl he was helping was the youngest.  She sounded very cute, even when she asked dad, "why does it smell like popcorn in here?" 

Quietly, I washed up and departed.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The only good lawyer is...

December 14, 2010

Beth is on the Griff today.  Well, hopefully not really, cause she is tutoring a boy named Griff this afternoon after school.  To be literal would be gross and creepy.  Griff is like 15 for those of you thinking that he is a high schooler and they are almost 18 and ... stop it.

Beth is also the subject of today's lesson on dream interpretation.  She had a bad dream last night which woke us both up, surprisingly, and led to a nice back rub for her and a weird explanation from CJ this morning.  (I had a typo there that Beth got a bag rub, but I think I may have gotten in trouble for that).  As Beth left for school and drove herself and CJ to the high school, she explained her dream to CJ and his friend.  She told how she and CJ had been driving, but stopped to walk across a bridge.  The bridge was rather high and had no support rail.  There was another man walking along near them who was wearing a suit and tie, for no apparent reason.  The man accidentally fell off the bridge into the water below.  Beth had awoken due to the fear that either she or CJ had been so near to falling off the bridge also.  CJ's reaction was not as panicked about his near death experience, but more matter-of-fact about how the world lost another lawyer.  I guess only lawyers wear suits in CJ's world.  Kinda speaks to how often he sees me in a suit.  Really not necessary to wear one around the Target or the trailer park.

Speaking of Target, we are surviving the holiday season thus far.  We had 5 inches of snow over the weekend which did not help sales by any stretch, but if the weather holds until Christmas, I am confident we will get it all back in the long run.  Mixed in there along the way is CJ's birthday.  He will be 14.  Both yow and zaa.  He is taller than me now and has a deep voice and hairy legs.  However, for the record, I am still receiving my daily hugs and he has not started smoking the ganja yet. 

After Christmas, my sister and her family will be stopping by.  They have never been to our house, so it should be fun.  They live in Atlanta, so I am not sure how much snow the kids have seen.  Hopefully, there is still some on the ground and it is not 10 degrees outside so we can take them sledding or something. 

Finally, since I obviously do not post very often, I will tell you that we are going on vacation at the end of March and looking for tips on great warm places.  We have been to Universal in Orlando twice and stayed at the Hard Rock Hotel, AND LOVED IT!  That is CJ's suggestion again whereas I have suggested the Caribbean somewhere.  Being that our budget is around $3000, my idea is starting to sound out. 

So where do you guys go that is warm and teen friendly?  And old people friendly for me?  Anywhere that has a theme park or fun stuff and a cafeteria style restaurant that closes at 6:00?  Places with big print on the menu and none of that crazy after hours loud partying?  Ya know, after the hours of like 10:00.  And finally, a place where me and my banana hammock swim gear can fit right in? 

Looks like we will be staying home for vacation again this year.  Rats!