Saturday, October 31, 2009

Hold the chuckle please.

October 31, 2009

There is a character in the sit com, 30 Rock, named Kenneth. His character is from Stone Mountain, Georgia. Stone Mountain is where my sister and her family currently reside. I had no idea that they were part of a population that thought chuckle-the part of the pig located between the tail and the anus-was a delicacy. I can just see my brother-in-law, Edward, having himself a Po' Boy Carp sandwich with extra chuckle. They are on the menu at Fatty Fat's Sandwich Ranch.

I have been to Stone Mountain to visit my sister's family, and they took me to some pizza place. Whenever I visit a city, I prefer to eat at a local establishment as opposed to some TGI Fridays or some other franchise. Next time we go to Atlanta, I will need to make sure Edward takes us to Fatty Fat's.

Edward keeps bragging to me about what a great cook my sister, Kathy, has become. This is always difficult for me to believe as I remember her having trouble serving pre-made ice cream at one of her summer jobs. Making the ice cream would have been totally out of the question. Actually, the job did not work out for Kathy as her boss didn't think her customer service skills were up to snuff. When I asked her about it after she got fired, she did not disagree. (or you could see she agreed, if you are an English major or something). She said she found it difficult to be nice to the customers as she found she did not really like people. Yeah, probably not a good fit.

In other news, you probably noticed that the date of this post is Halloween. Beggar's Night just ended here at 8:00. It lasted for two hours and we had around 200 "kids" show up. They ranged in age from newborn to 20 something. CJ is 12, and he did not go out this year. He had 3 friends over and they handed out candy for a bit. They then abandoned their post and went downstairs to play video games. Beth and I took over, which was cool with us as we really enjoy seeing the little kids in their costumes.

The best costume of the night actually belonged to 4 guys who were probably high school age. One was Pac Man, and he was followed along by 3 of the ghosts. Only one of them had arms free (the other three did not qualify for Honors classes I don't think), so he was the one collecting the candy.

There were a whole bunch of cute costumes though. Quite a few of them were homemade, which explains the number of costumes I will be having go on clearance at the Target. A lot of our neighbors ran out of candy, so I was proud of my preplanning skills as we bought 4 big bags of candy and ended up with about 6 pieces left over. I even taught CJ a lesson on planning as we prioritized the order of the bags. The first two bags were the candy we liked the least, the last bag was the candy we liked the best. That way, if you have some left over, you get to eat the candy you like, not a bunch of Tootsie Rolls and Dots. It did not used to matter as CJ would be coming home with a bag of candy, but now it matters. He was impressed with me.

It was a bit cold out tonight, so my brain and fingers are stiff. Therefore, I will wrap this up and see you in November.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Party at Betsy Ross' House

October 25, 2009

So I saw on the visitor's guide map that Betsy Ross' house was a "must see". I told Beth that I was pretty sure she has parties there every Wednesday night. I was going and was hoping to get a dance with Betsy 'cause she was probably really hot, even for being like 200+ years old.

I also e-mailed a manager back at work that I was going to visit Betsy Ross' house, and her response was "Who is Betsy Ross?" Really? The maker of the American flag?? I won't tell you which manager it was (who may have graduated from "the Harvard of the Midwest"), but I will tell you that... No, I won't do it. I desperately want to use my best line from one of our meetings, but I will need to see a comment from someone requesting it to let it loose.

This is my CJ playing some mean percussion at one of the band concerts. CJ scared me last night when he was getting ready to go to a Fun Night at his school. When he came upstairs, I took one look at him and informed him that he looked like crap. I wasn't being mean, he looked ill. We immediately took his temperature and he was running a fever. He had had a cough part of the day, but not one that seemed worthy of worrying about. However, one of the boys on his soccer team has had the H1N1 virus, so Beth and I decided to worry a lot about him.

He is doing better today with no fever, and he looks better. He slept for like 11 hours last night while Beth and I slept a total of 11 hours combined due to the stress. We are very happy that he is doing better, but he has been forbidden from causing us this much worry anymore.

I gotta go, but I hope to blog again on Tuesday.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Back from Philadelphia!!!

October 24, 2009

I have returned from my trip to Philly where I provided support help to some Target stores that recently went through remodels. It was a lot of work, but educational. I once thought I would like to be some sort of business traveler, but I have changed my mind. Dealing with the airports, the hotels, the time tables, the roads, and the unknowns can be tiring and boring. Not to mention the constant eating out. Now, there is no way I would make this part of a career move as being away from my family is not something I enjoy in any way, shape, or form.

I do have photos from the trip though, so I will put in some of the better ones.

This is obviously the US Mint. They were not handing out any money samples on this day, but everyone walking out of the building did have really fresh breath.

Because it is the US MINT...and mints smell good...oh, forget it.

This is the cemetery where Ben Franklin was buried. I have a picture of his tomb stone, but it did not come out well at all. Sorry, too much glare. People throw pennies and nickles on his grave stone though. At first I thought it was because it had his picture on them, but then I realized I am a doofus. Instead of being as stupid as everyone else, I threw a twenty dollar bill on his grave. Who's stupid now, huh?

This is Independence Hall. I keep picturing Nicholas Cage in National Treasure finding the glasses invented by Benjamin Franklin up there on the deck below the steeple.

Beth needs the computer, so I will post more later. It is great to be back.

Friday, October 16, 2009


October 16, 2009

The weekend has come for me as I had originally scheduled a mini vacation for Fri-Tues. I used the past tense "had" because I now only have a 3-day weekend and then am off to Philadelphia for a week. Target has asked me to go there for a week to help with something yet to be clarified. Perhaps it is a big surprise party for me? Perhaps they are taking me to a Phillie's game in the championship series against the Dodgers? Perhaps they needed someone to fix the Liberty Bell and heard I am the master with a roll of duct tape? Not Super Glue ya mo, that doesn't make any sense! Perhaps they wanted to send me somewhere colder than Cincinnati thinking I love me the cold weather? They are WRONG!

Anyway, that gives me a couple days with Beth and CJ before party time for them begins. They have already stated that they are going out to eat every night. I know there is homework and activities and work, but eating Micky Dees and Wendy's is quite the treat. I had no idea the reason we ate at home most nights was because of me.

Therefore, tonight we are going to a volunteer party at our church. It is not a party you volunteer for ya mo, it is a party for those of us who are in volunteer activities. They are feeding us, so night one of eating out begins tonight.

Tomorrow, CJ has a cross country meet in the morning, and then we got nothin going on. Woohoo! I have to get my stuff together for the trip, but have you ever noticed that Target employees always wear red shirts and khaki pants? That makes packing a bit easier. I have to ask the question though, as a guest in the store yesterday, who had a question, made me think that perhaps not everyone notices that Target team members wear red and khaki every day. I was helping another guest at the time who was wearing a shirt and tie, while I was wearing my red Target polo, complete with name tag, and my khaki pants. I also had the worn out useless look on my face of someone who works in retail. Guest number 1 that I was helping had the intelligent (yet shady) look of someone who works as an attorney by day. So guest number 2 that needed help (apparently immediately as she interrupted guest number 1) jumped in with a question about drop cloths for painting. The funny thing was that her question was directed to guest number 1 in the shirt and tie, not me. He looked like he wanted to answer, and since I actually know him and know him to be rather sarcastic, I jumped in with the aisle location for drop cloths. She went on her way, but I always find it interesting when someone asks you if you work at Target when you are dressed in red/khaki with a Target bulls eye on your shirt.

Have I ever told you the advertising campaign CJ came up with for Target when he was 5? I thought not. Target used a pit bull with a bulls eye painted around his eye (I just now got that-pit bull, eye, bulls talk about being a mo!)for their ad campaigns back then. His thought started with, "dad, you know how the target dog has a bulls eye around his eye? Well, what if they got a bow and arrow..." I stopped him immediately as I did not want to hear what was coming next. Macauley Culkin from the movie The Good Son popped into my head, so I had to change the topic right away.

So, time to get off this computer before Beth gets home. Hopefully, back with ya tomorrow.

Until I figure out why Budweiser used a pit bull in their ads too...

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

You have to be nice to me today.

October 13, 2009

I just returned home from giving blood today. I do so about every 8 weeks as I have O+, and they say they really need it. They send me letters saying they used it, so I figure there are quite a few people walking around with some of my blood in them. I try to tell who it is by looking for people who used to be smart, but are now more dumber than they were, but I'm not smart enough to catch all the signs. If you see anyone who:

-looks at their watch to see what the date is, they could have some of my blood
-stands in a grocery store aisle trying to figure out what it was that made them come down that aisle, they could have some
-turns their wipers on when they are trying to turn their head lights on...
-forgets to take their socks off when they get in the shower...
-forgets to wash the shampoo out of their hair...
-leaves their car in drive when they park it and then can't figure out why it won't start when they come back out to the parking lot...
-leaves their lawn mower running when they go to adjust the wheels...(ouch)
-spills their coffee because they turn the doorknob handle while holding their coffee cup

Anyway, I'm not saying I have done all these things, that would make me sound really stupid, I'm just saying all these things aren't that smart.

So at the blood removal center, they take your vitals when they are prepping you. My blood pressure was 92 over 64. I said "92, really?", cause that sounded low to me. I am usually around 100 for my systolic number. They said it must be because I work out. Well, thanks for noticing, I thought. But in reality, I haven't worked out much the past few weeks. I have worked hard at the Target, so that could be the reason, but it sure seems to me that my heart is real lazy. The systolic number is your heart beats when active. The one nurse said maybe I was just really relaxed. It is my day off and I am relaxed, but boy is my heart taking advantage of a day off. One nurse asked if I had had dizzy spells, and I have, but I didn't tell her. They have only been when I have bent down and gotten back up. Apparently, this is too much work for my heart with the bending, standing, and groaning all at the same time.

Anyway, if I pass out at work tomorrow, please tell them I will be okay, just ask my heart to step it up a notch.

This computer must have a low systolic number as well, because it is running really slow right now. Therefore, I am going to get a couple more rounds of COD in before time to get CJ to drums today.

Until me heart g-i-v-e-s o---u---.....

Sunday, October 11, 2009

You love the dog more than me!!

October 11, 2009

As I worked back in the Halloween area last night, I overheard a conversation between a college age young lady and her mom. The mom was gushing about how cute the costumes were for the dogs and cats, and how she must get one for her little dog. The daughter was very upset as she remembered all the Halloweens she spent with no costume. "So you are willing to get the dog a costume when you wouldn't get one for me as a kid?", she said rather sadly. The mom tried to defend herself by saying she had painstakingly hand-crafted many a costume when she was a child.

At this point I bailed on the eavesdropping. It sounded like the humor was gone.

If there is anyone who reads this blog that I don't know about (which would be anyone besides Beth), please say a prayer if you would for Shawn's daughter. He is a coworker, and his daughter has H1N1. It is very scary, and I would love to get him some extra help from above. Thanks.

The Bengals are on soon and I have to go to work also, so I will let you go for now. Back at you later.

Until I figure out why CJ and his friends keep saying "cool beans"...

Thursday, October 8, 2009

I feel like Miss America!!

October 8, 2009

You know when they put the tiara on Miss America's newly crowned head and she does the hand wavy thing to try to dry the tears very quickly so they don't ruin her make up? Well, I had to do that today as I ran around excitedly proclaiming that THE June Gardens had commented on my blog. What a highlight.

The other big thrill of the day was my dentist appointment. I know, you thought I was going to say working at the Target tonight, but that was not really as thrilling as it sounds.

Anyway, the gentleman in the dentist's chair ahead of me was both amusing and providing angst for the dentist and his hygienist at the same time. They were trying to explain to him that he had some bad teeth going on. I could hear everything as they were having to practically yell to get him to hear them. Apparently he had a lot of tooth decay. He could not understand why as he brushes and doesn't eat a lot of sweets like cookies or cake. They asked if he sucked on mints and he said no. However, he does LOVE suckers!!! Not suckas. He was not in a gang as best I could tell. He REALLY loves the Dum Dums. To the tune of 10 or so a day, he loves the Dum Dums. When he is not sucking on the Dum Dums, he is chewing gum. "Sugar free?" they asked hopefully. The answer was Juicy Fruit or something the opposite of sugar free.

Therefore, they loudly tried to convince him that sugar free was the way to go from now on. Then they tried to decide what to do with his current teeth. Some he was going to lose no matter what, but they wanted to try to save the rest. Money was apparently an object for him though. Finally, still loudly, they found out his money wasn't readily available right now due to the $2000 he just spent on hearing aids.

Not money well spent, I'm guessing.

Fortunately, my teeth are okay, but I am very seriously considering giving up all sugar. Or at least the Mountain Dew and sweets. I certainly don't want my hearing to suffer.

Until someone figures out how dentures and sinuses are connected...

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Im baaaaack!

October 6, 2009

I know all of my faithful readers out there have been wondering what happened to me. Well, life happened. Nothing bad has occurred, but there has just been a lot going on. CJ has had cross country meets and homework and soccer games and homework. Beth has had work and tutoring. I have had plenty of work and taken some blog time for some Call of Duty time. I have found that not only am I enjoying the game, but it really has given CJ and myself something to discuss. That is my favorite part.

As for work, I have been asked to go to Philadelphia for a week in October to help some Targets get set up. I am very unhappy about being away from my family for a whole week, but it is a good opportunity for me to make myself more indispensable. My city will be getting some remodels the same as Philly soon, and if I am the only one around who has helped out, my value increases. In today's workplace, having value is important. What would the Muppets have been without Fozzie Bear? I guess that makes my point pretty clear.

On the radio today I heard the Dan Patrick show and he was interviewing a swimsuit model named Brooklyn Decker. For the purposes of this blog, and to better serve the right to information act, I will google her now. Okay, I am back. Seriously, I was only gone 30 seconds. I have never heard of this young lady (born the year I graduated from college), and did not know what the big deal was, or is. She is from nearby Kettering, Ohio, but I will not be adding her to my "list of 5" as she is blonde and I do not care for her type. If she were interested, I would let her down easy by showing her my wonderful wife and what real beauty really is. Her boyfriend is Andy Roddick, and he is away a lot, so the possibility exists.

Therefore, why bring her up, you may be asking. Well, I found her to be quite funny on the show. One example was when they were asking her what pick up lines to avoid. She responded that anything involving her name was not good. She had heard plenty of lines that related to her name being a city, Paris Hilton's name is a city, and Paris made a sex tape. I couldn't really follow this line of thinking, but the funny part was when she said, "besides, Brooklyn isn't really a city, it is a burrough". The guys on the show then had a good time referring to her as a burrough after that.

Secondly, she inadvertently made a funny when asked if she liked men in uniform. She responded by saying that she "came from men in uniform" meaning that she had plenty of male relatives who had served in the military, but it did come out quite right. Reminds me a bit of Beth's "staff meeting" story that I am sure she will tell Dan Patrick whenever she is being interviewed on his cougar series shows.

My fingers are cold from typing, so I will close for now and try to be more regular in my posts. Thanks for stopping by.

Until life slows down to 55....