Sugar has no effect on children whatsoever

January 5, 2010

First, we are back up to speed with our Internet connections. Beth had to call our local provider, and they did something to speed things back up. Sorry to scare everyone with the Y2KX conspiracy theory.

Second, I bought some candy yesterday before I left the Target as the holiday candy went 90% off and I thought I knew two people at my house that might like some chocolate. Like it they did. I had to cut CJ off before he totally demolished a box of Bailey's Irish Creme chocolate (I think he might have eaten enough to catch a buzz), a small box of Lindt truffles, an Advent calendar (24 pieces) of milk chocolate, and another bag of chocolate. Beth helped, but Mayor McCheese really got his chocolate groove on.

When CJ was young and we took him to the pediatrician, one of the doctors told us that sugar has no effect on children whatsoever. Over the years, this has been a family joke for us. We walked by an ice cream shop one time and there was this 4-5 year old boy who had just finished his cone. He was running in place with a look on his face like "If I just get up enough speed, I can blast off like Rocket Boy!". CJ and I looked at each other and muttered the phrase, "sugar has no effect on children whatsoever".

The movie Daddy Day Care had a scene during which the children gorged themselves with sugar, went bonkers for awhile, and then crashed into napdom.

There have been other non-documented usages of this phrase by my family as there are plenty of examples that the doctor giving us this information either had alien children or no children. No other explanation.

I figured CJ's brain was feeling some affects when he came to the basement after finishing his homework. Beth asked him to practice drums, and he said okay. I was finishing a COD match, and he stopped to watch. I finished and he grabbed the remote and said he was going to watch some television. I reminded him about drums, and he shook the cobwebs out of his head and said, "Oh yeah". I then walked into the laundry room to change my clothes and he followed me in as we discussed something non drum related. I asked him if there was something he needed in the laundry room that was going to help him practice drums. He looked sheepish for a second as he knew I knew he had already forgotten about drums again. He turned towards the toy closet, grabbed one of those plastic monkeys that goes with a Barrel of Monkeys game and said, "Yes, I needed this here monkey to help me with the bongos portion of my drum practice". Clever. BTW, there is no bongo portion. Sugar has no effect on children whatsoever.

Anyway, for some reason, it took CJ an extra long time to fall asleep once he went to be last night. Hmmm. He also had little to no desire to get out of bed this morning. Hmmm. I don't think he ever got a stomach ache and doesn't seem hungover this morning, but I do know his first waking thought was, "Need more chocolate!"

Aren't I a "perfect dad" for giving my child so much chocolate after 6:00 at night? Lesson learned.