Wednesday, July 27, 2011

I guess I could start digging right now...

July 27, 2011

For those of you keeping score at home, July 27, 2011 is the 20th anniversary of the Beth and Steve nuptials.  We also got married that day.  Har dee har.  20 years together.  While no one said out loud that they did not think it would last, I gotta believe that many people out there thought Beth would someday come to her senses.  I am happy to report that Beth has not yet become sensicle.

What big plans do we have for our anniversary?  Not much really.  I have to work and Wednesdays at work sometimes turn into 11 hour days.  CJ has band camp until 9pm, so he is out of the picture should we choose to renew our vows.  Our church is having their monthly last Wednesday service, and I know Beth would like to go, so that may be our big outing.

Whenever I mention to people that is my wedding anniversary, they always want to know what gift I am giving Beth.  It is usually women asking, so the expectation is high that it be something like jewelry, perfume, or a pony.  I usually disappoint since I choose not to lie.  Being truthful does not mean I say her gift is being married to me, but it also means that I do not easily get away with the "nothing special" response.

Therefore, I have looked up some online help for what the best gift to give Beth for the best 20 years of my life.  Here are the suggestions:

Traditional gift, China.  That is a long drive and I have to work on Thursday, so China is out.

Modern gift, Platinum.  The atomic number of Platinum is 78 and the music in 1978 was not good for me.  Night Fever by the Bee Gees was the number one single of the year and I am still trying to get over being sick.  Plus, Olivia Newton John-my first celebrity crush-sang with John Travolta and I cannot revisit that disappointing time in my life.

Gemstone, Emerald.  I like his cooking, but the whole "Bam!" thing is annoying.

As I look at some of the suggestions on how to throw a 20th anniversary party, I wonder if Beth would have rather had a husband prone to more romance and/or surprises.  I think I know her well enough by now that I would guess not, but I am not taking any chances if I am wrong. 

Therefore, do not tell Beth, but here are my big plans for tomorrow:

First, I will leave work early since I rarely ever do that for her.

Second, I will pick up some Chinese food.

Third, I will download Three Times a Lady by the Commodores and Kiss You All Over by Exile onto my IPod so we can each have an ear bud to listen to while we eat.  That should really set the mood, no?

Finally, I will rent the top movie of 1991 (the year we got married for all of you who did not follow the math), The Silence of the Lambs.  Perfect date movie.  Also the punch line to one of the better You May be a Redneck jokes. 

I guess it is a better movie choice than the first movie Beth and I went to see together on a date, Fatal Attraction.

So Beth will be sufficiently wooed you think?  I think so too.  I know you are all way jealous right now, but I assure you I am all Beth's.  Not available am I.  (You saw what happened to the rabbit, right?)

So tomorrow should be the culmination of 20 awesome years together.  I love Beth today even more than I did back then.  She is beautiful, funny, smart, and a great mom.  She is my best friend and the best wife a man could ask for.  I will forever be grateful for the grace God has shown by helping a schmuck like me land such an incredible woman. 

Plus, she is outside cutting the grass right now since I have typed this Tuesday night, so how can anyone argue that I have married well.  I think Beth will be getting the extra egg roll tomorrow.  I know, right!  Lucky woman.


  1. Have a great anniversary!! My husband (of 27 years) could benefit from some of your tips, actually. But I can't show this to him because I will never, ever cut the grass and that is the first thing he would zero in on.

  2. Honey, thank you for marrying me. I cannot fathom the life I would have had these past twenty years without you. You know me, and you love me anyway. That's a tall order. Thank you for being a kind, patient, and loving dad to the boy.


    your wife, Beth

  3. I'm sure that whole China line has been used before, but I have never heard it and it was HILARIOUS. So was the earbud thing. Also Silence of the Lambs (sexy!).

    Happy anniversary! I qualify an anniversary as a success as long as there is Taco Bell involved.