Thursday, August 11, 2011

Too much emphasis on the muffin

August 11, 2011

A guest came in The Target yesterday seeking the whereabouts of an item.  She said it is a belt you can wear but not see.  Really?  I have heard of people taking belts of whisky like shots, or getting belted by someone elses fists, and you can generally not see "the belt"; however, I am guessing this is not the belt of which you seek.

They thought maybe it was called an invisible belt.  Ah, the invisible belts you say.  Well yes, we have those.  They are on this rack right here.  They are $20.  Here is a blue invisible belt and it will be in this bag, you just pay me the money.  It is a part of our new "Emperor's New Clothes Collection".  Enjoy.

And I quote, "No, I do not think it was from any Emperors New Clothes Collection."  Do people still read anymore?  Do children just watch Dora and play video games about Dora? 

I realize that I am old and the ENC story I read was carved on a stone tablet and we had to share it with the whole class while we avoided the dinosaurs, but I thought stories were passed down from generation to generation.  Not any more, I guess.

So I have looked it up and found something called an Invisibelt that you can buy on line that "has an instant slimming affect of a belt without the clunky buckle".  The belt fits waist sizes 2-14 and up to a 45 inch waist.  I am not sure how much slimming affect it has for the 45 inch waist, but I may try one on and get my male muffin top going.

My only concern, were I  to purchase this innovative belt from the Wonder Woman collection (still nothing?), is what happens when I lay the belt down somewhere?

You see, because it is invisible?  Oh, never mind.


  1. Ooo, a book from before 1984? Really? One that school didn't assign? Hmmm. Um, Oh! When my oldest was little I bought him a large hardback edition of The Velveteen Rabbit. Yeah I know, one book for three kids formative years sucks.

    Maybe the rest of the books were invisible?

  2. PJ from Pie Land, now of Perfect Dad LandAugust 11, 2011 at 8:21 AM

    The Emperor's New Clothes Collection. Bhah!

    I had one of those stone tablets with that story, too.

    My family were not readers but thankfully I taught elementary school for 20 years and soaked myself in kiddie lit. And made sure my charges were soaked in it, too. Long live the little boy who spoke the truth. Might he have been named Steve?

  3. Hey there, Lisa Pie here from BBP,

    In my home and in my elementary school both, books were revered. I probably read every book in my school library. And yes, I was a terribly geeky child.

    Nice story, by the by!

  4. "The Emperor's New Clothes Collection."


    And how sad that the customer didn't get it.

    Okay, I had to Google "invisible belt" because I had never heard of it. And probably won't be buying one because none of my belts have Texas-size belt buckles which means I CAN wear my belts with my tops untucked and not worry about the dreaded Belt Buckle Bulge.

  5. Your comment at The Pie was so hilarious I had to find out more about this Target Steve dude. Plus Texas Kari says you're awesome.. and you know what? It turns out you are!

  6. Is that the story where the guy thought he was invisible and he was just walking around naked?