Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Please do not resolve to wipe less this year

January, 3, 2012

Hello y'all.  Long time no contact.  This has been one of the more difficult holiday seasons I have ever had, and I have had 24 of them.  You consumers are difficult to figure out.  Take the past two days for example.  Sunday was January first and I expect none of you to go shopping early in the morning.  I realize that New Year's Eve means getting your party on and regretting it the next morning.  I have never understood waking up the first day of the brand new year, the "this year is going to be different "year, and you are already regretting choices.  You drank too much, ate the wrong things, swapped gum with the wrong person, etc.  Fun times.   Anyway, so you wake up Sunday morning, and feel like crap.  Good start to the year.

Little did you know, I expected you to come to The Target around noon.  I know there were several significant football games to watch Sunday, but locally, the Bengals did not play until 4:15.  Therefore, I am ready for you to be here between noon:o'clock and 4:00.  Where were you?

Somewhere besides The Target.  Fine, I got a lot of work done.  Maybe this potentially challenging week will not be so bad.  Wait a darn minute.  I did not get the memo that ALL of you were coming shopping on Monday.  I am not ready for you on Monday.  Does no one work on January second?  Just me, and ER nurses.

So yesterday was cray cray.  Check your urban dictionary to find out that cray cray means the second level of crazy.  While we never made it to the third level of hell yesterday, we certainly made it to the second level of crazy.

The saving grace during an especially challenging portion of the cray, was a team member wondering why we were putting in all the extra effort for a bulk toilet paper display.  Earlier in the day I had explained to the team that New Year's sales meant healthy food, vitamins, workout clothes and gear, storage bins, and leftover holiday clearance.  I neglected to mention toilet paper.  Thus, when he asked if this bulk display was because people tend to wipe more in the new year, I tried to explain it away by pointing out that some of the healthier foods produce more personal movement.  If your resolution this year is to be more regular, we have some of your needs covered at The Target.

In other news, a new holiday tradition was started at our house yesterday.  Beth and CJ built a gingerbread house.  It was CJ's gift to mom for Christmas. 

The cane is for the blind kitty to the left of the door.  You can see math skills at work with an exact color pattern running along the eaves of the house.  And Moosen.  To completely understand CJ's fascination with this word, you need to know the works of a comedian named Brian Regan.  Here is the routine in question.

This routine makes me laugh until I cry every time. 

So later in the day, CJ mentioned to Grandma that this was a new tradition for he and mom.  Mom got a little verklempt.  It was a kairos moment for her.  Our pastor would be in love with her right now.  I will explain another time.  The end result is that CJ does not need to put this photo out on the social media just yet.

Happy New Year everyone!!

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