Because I am a little, little person

September 24, 2011

5 people left here for Indianapolis yesterday at 3:00pm (only 45 minutes later than Steve had planned), and 5 people returned unharmed.  In actuality, the car ride up and back may have been the least confusing part of the evening.  We made excellent time, traffic wasn't too crazy, the directions were step on, and we found a good place to park.

That was when things got interesting.

The invitations had told us to be there for the wedding on a Friday night two hours away at 5:30.  We showed up a bit after 5:00.  We found that the 5:30 starting time was actually for a cocktail hour.  And with the time change in Indiana versus Ohio, apparently an hour lasts 90 minutes.  With an open bar.

What you do know about me, fortunately, is that my father was an alcoholic.  He wasn't violent or abusive towards anything but his liver, but it did make for some interesting car trips.  We once spent an hour looking for an eatery by driving around one particular block about twelve times.  Even my 8 year old self knew we were not knowing where we were or getting anywhere quickly.  I think us kids in the back seat suddenly volunteered that we were no longer hungry.  My mother did not drive (except for the time she pulled the car into the garage and went too far almost creating an addition onto the house), so we were left with impaired dad to get us to and fro, and to and fro, and fro and to, and not so much to, but more fro.

Therefore, an open bar is a weird situation for me.  My inner being, built by DNA and fueled by Jack Daniels, desperately wants to partake in the openness that is free bar.  However, my desire to be CJ's dad and not Steve's dad has me committed to setting a good example and staying sober. 

I am normally that quiet guy with the sense of humor that catches you off guard.  Me in college, was occasionally that guy you didn't know could be so outgoing and funny.  At least I'm guessing I was funny since I was often told, "Steve, you were so funny last night!"  I never wanted to ask what made me so particularly funny last night because I could not remember.  I did not want to know whether they meant funny ha ha, or funny peculiar.

So I drank nothing but sodas and water.  I took the opportunity to point out relatives to CJ (from Beth's side of the family, of course) whose lives had been influenced by alcohol.  See your Uncle there with the crutch, he used to have a job making 6 figures, and he is currently homeless.  His good friends casino, alcohol, and recreational drugs helped him with his life choices.

See that Uncle, your grandma says the only time he has worn those shoes is when he has been to a wedding or stood before a judge.

Both of them were drinking. 

I really hope the evening made an impression on 14 year old CJ.

Some of you may be wondering what happens next at a wedding with a 90 minute cocktail hour, BEFORE the wedding. 

Well, the ceremony took place and lasted about 11 minutes.  It was nice, but really just served as an intermission before everyone was ushered into another room for the reception.  We were not allowed to eat food as the bridal party was rehashing the ceremony for a bit, but there was still an open bar. 

Finally, around 8:00, I was able to get some food.  I know this does not sound late to any of you, but we normally eat between 5 and 6 and are ready for snacks at 8:00.  Thankfully, the food was good and the wedding cake was cupcakes that no one seemed interested in.  CJ and I may have gotten a good sugar buzz going for the ride home.

I did get to visit with folks, everyone we ran into made over how tall and good looking CJ was getting, and the bride was beautiful.  Her husband really out kicked his coverage, but that is all I will say about that. 

They had a table set up asking people to write down keys to a good marriage and tie the answers to this fixture.  I wrote that the husband needed to learn the phrase, "whatever you want dear is just great with me".  I noticed another person had written, "lather, rinse, repeat".  Hmmm.

I wonder if this was written by the best man (who made the longest best man toast in the history of the world) who ended his toast with the lovely sentiment, "may all your ups and downs happen between the sheets".  Beautiful.  Let's drink to that.