Who has a hot wife? You bet I do! E I E I-Oh

January 10, 2011

I am in the middle of 4 days off from The Target and getting some much needed rest.  The weekend was nice with Beth and CJ and video games and Xavier basketball and NFL playoffs and church and Chipotle.  And sleep.  I have a tendency to wake up every morning around 5am, but one of the nights I did not.  I do not get up at 5am-aka the butt crack of dawn-unless I have to for work, but I do get to lay there and think about work instead of sleeping most of the time. 

The problem started when I used to have to be at work around 3am.  Even though I do not have to work that shift anymore, I did it long enough that waking up early became normal.  Fortunately, the longer I get away from that shift, the later I sleep, but the current cycle is 5am.  Soon, 5am will be part of normalness as the required get up time for old men so they can meet at McDonald's for coffee and play canasta. Or whatever game old men play at McDonald's.  Then I can get a job there so I can talk to people and not see their rolled eyes when I try to be nice to them.  Except for that one old McDonald guy who had a farm.

But I progress, which I guess to be the opposite of digressing because I was speaking of the future.

Anyway, have you seen my Bethie lately?  Hubba hubba!  She has lost, and kept off, some poundage.  I know, she was lovely before, but now she is thinner, happier, and kinda into herself.  Not into herself, like googling herself, but in the way that she does not throw things at the fitting room mirror while trying on clothes.  She has new yoga pants that make me want to try some yoga on for size.  How much weight has she lost?  Not sure, but I would guess 25 pounds or so over the past six months.  I am sure I am wrong, but maybe she will comment and let you know the specifics.  Remember that she is 5'8", so that does not mean she weighs 100 pounds now, but she looks really good.  She will also be so excited that I was talking about her weight with you all. 

So how has she done it?   Ready for the solution to all your problems-if you are overweight...though I am not saying your are...I think you look great...oh crap.

She dieted and exercised!!!  I know!  She is writing a book about it.  Check Amazon soon and you will find it under books about diet and exercise.  Not too many of those.

Okay, I just reread that paragraph and am wondering how much trouble I am going to be in from my now diva better half, but then I remembered that she is the only one that reads my blog, so I am okay.  Bethie, you look awesome.

As for me, I exercised on Saturday with CJ.  We did a 15 minute cardio workout from the Exercise On Demand cable channel.  We both finished and no one needed a defibrillator, but neither one of us was feeling great about our stamina afterwards.  And I was sufficiently sore yesterday.  Not in my legs as expected, but in my neck.  Weird.  I think it was the jumping jacks.  Yes, they still make you do jumping jacks in a workout.  Who was this original jumping Jack and why does he have such staying power?  Have jumping jacks been around longer than Jack Lalanne?  Do they go back to Jack and his nimble candle-jumping self.  That would make the actual form more challenging...ya know, having to keep your nasty bits from touching the flame.

I just got it!  Why the jumping jacks and all.  It just occurred to me that the workout we did was led by the trainer of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.  It was a dude (who has to be roiding to be that big, right?), whose name was Jay Johnson, I think. 

It was, I just googled it.  He should not be confused with Jay Johnson, the ventriloquist.  I do not know what kind of shape he or his dummies are in.  So this beefed up Jay Johnson had to train some cheerleaders.  Jumping jacks makes sense now, doesn't it?  You get it, right?  Grown hotties jumping?  Body parts bouncing?  What?  You got it the first time?  Oh, my bad.  I was picturing Beth doing some jumping jacks in her new yoga pants.  Must go google something else.  Bye for now.