Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Somebody give me a @#$% cup of coffee!

September 28, 2010

Monday morning was trying to tell me something.  I had just worked all weekend, so it isn't the typical Monday morning other people face.  Mondays are supposed to be good for me since I am off on Tuesdays.  However, yesterday started with Beth offering me coffee in the morning.  She had not made any because she isn't drinking caffeine right now (health nut), so I turned her down.  Seemed kinda cruel to drink coffee in front of someone  who loves coffee but has sworn off of it.  I did not think it would matter since I normally stop at BP on my way to work for coffee anyway. 

I love me a BP 20 oz mostly cappuccino topped off with french roast coffee.  MMMMM!  And for a mere $1.09-buy 3, your 4th one is free.  Monday was going to be my free one.  Perfection! 

I arrived at BP only to find that they had waxed half of the floors in the store thus roping off the side of the store containing my precious coffee.  I looked at the wet floor, looked over at the coffee, and tried to decide if I could successfully scale the tops of the fixtures to reach the coffee oasis.  And then escape without getting arrested.  Hey, no big deal I decided, there is another BP on the way to work.  I do not usually frequent this one since they do not give me a 4th coffee for free.  Nonetheless, today they would get my money.  All $1.09 of it.  Yes, I am a tight wad.

I arrived at BP #2 and entered the store.  No caution tape equals good sign.  Actually, in this particular neighbor HOOD, no caution tape is a VERY good sign.  I approached my beloved cappuccino machine to find two young ladies pondering their cup filling decision.  Empty cup in hands, they seemed ready to dispense.  5 minutes later we have: empty cups still in hand, comments about making this poor man wait for his coffee, and to hot chocolate or not to hot chocolate musings going at a snail pace.  I glance at the machine only to find that they do not even have the flavor of cappuccino I prefer anyway, so I leave the store.  My Target does not have a Starbucks (which is the way I like it), but they do possess my friend, frenchie vanilla cappuccino machine.  I knew I would have to wait until after 8:00, but what are the chances someone will poke this coffee-less dog before 8:00. 

"Take me on a store tour," says my boss.  Excellent.  So we tour, all goes well even though I can feel the hamster that makes my brain wheel go round struggling to stay awake.

Finally, I arrive at Target Cafe, money in hand, ready to order my large coffee.  Order complete, cup in hand, we are almost home.  I press the button on the cappuccino machine, and out pours clear, hot water.  I pour out the hot water as this does happen sometimes if you're the first one there.  I press the button again. more hot water.  Grrr!  My mind flashes to a scene with caution tape and me in cuffs being led away from The Target, while in the background flames shoot out of the cappuccino machine. 

I am not in jail today.  I poured myself some regular coffee with some French vanilla creamer, and went to read my email.  I let the young lady at Target Cafe know that the machine needed tending to, and was able to go back later to refill my cup with the nectar that is my cappuccino.

I know that you may be thinking, "Is it possible that God wants you to stop drinking coffee?"  You and me, no longer friends.  God loves me and would never take this pleasure away from me.  I spit on your coffee free world.  Of course, my spit is a nice warm brown color as I have had two cups of coffee this morning already.  Hyped up a little, yeah maybe, why do you ask?


  1. "Actually, in this particular neighbor HOOD, no caution tape is a VERY good sign."

    Killed me. I'm dead.

  2. I just heard that "they" have discovered coffee drinkers are less likely to get Alzheimer's or Parkinson's disease. Tell Beth to get back on the wagon!