Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Have you seen the muffin man?

August 17, 2010

Today is one of the most saddest days of the year for Beth and CJ.  Day one back at school.  Alarms have gone off, showers have been taken, doughnuts are being eaten, and they are getting excited.  Well, not too excited.  They are taking it much better than I would if I just had the entire summer off.  I am quite sure I would have developed pink eye, had some bad pizza last night, or run off with the gypsies.  Not these two, they are downright giddy to go back and see their friends and learn about Algebra.  They are looking for the pony.

Pony?

Haven't told you that story yet.

I had a talk with my team last week about choosing the correct attitude when they come to work.  I also had a mirror in front of myself during the talk so that I would also see the coming workload with my half-full glass.  This week is the start of school and the last minute purchasing of school supplies for many K-12 parents, AND the start of college for many local colleges.  Combining the two perfect storms makes this the 6th busiest week of the year for my Target.  The other 5 weeks are around the holidays.  That tends to make this week a bit crazy , so choosing the right attitude is key.

Therefore, I have asked everyone to look for the pony.  You see, there are generally two kinds of people.  There are the ones you can put into a room with a pony and toys and such and they remain sour that at some point the pony is going to poop.  There are others that get put into a room with a pile of poop and start shoveling because they know there has to be a pony underneath there somewhere.  Thusly and therefore, whenever I see one of my team leaders having a bad moment, I ask them to look for the pony.  Beth and CJ are pony seekers.  I am trying to be more like them when I grow up.

Speaking of growing up, I really felt like I was gaining weight earlier this week.  I stepped on the scale once, but I found I was still 155 pounds.  I have been within 10 pounds of that weight since high school.  I thought I was gaining weight since my pants had fit a bit more snugly than usual that morning. 

You could see my muffin top sticking over the edges of my belt.  Quite the image, I'm sure.  However, since the scale told me I weighed the same, I just chalked the moment up to being a little bloated that day.  Too much Chipotle the night before perhaps. 

So, on Saturday, CJ had an event to go to.  His friend from school had had his Bar mitzvah that morning, and there was a party celebrating the event that night.  It was cause for nicer attire than the shorts and tee shirts CJ has been wearing all summer, so Beth went looking for his khaki pants.  She called me at work to find out if I had seen them, but I had not (or so I thought).  She later called me back to let me know she had found them in the laundry pile.  Ohhhhh. 

I wear a size 34x30 khaki pant, and CJ wears a size 32x30 khaki pant.  Ohhhh.  I was not livin' large that day.  I had not expanded my domain.  I had actually fit into pants 2 inches smaller than I normally wear.  Who hearts himself for being able to eat a bag of chips and not fatten up.  Having a tape worm has proven to be quite lucky for me.

I just saw my family off as they departed for school.  I took a paper towel with me to soak up the tears since I will miss them sooo much.  What is that sound in the back ground?  Silence.  Weird.  Hmmm.   It actually is rather weird.  What was that sound?  Did you hear that Bethie?  CJ are you shooting your Nerf gun in the house again?  I'll be right back.

There is no one here.  Just me.  And my thoughts. 

All right, I do have to cut the front grass and go to the doctor today.  I am having my head examined.  I have had fluid behind my ears for a long time and it is causing problems.  I am going to see if my doctor will drill a hole, drain the fluid, and fill the hole back up with some wood putty.  I hope someday to be a real boy.  I am going to check in with Katie and June, so I will let you know what the doctor says, hopefully tomorrow.  And there is one doughnut left. Num num num.

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry, does Beth work with the school district? Or was it bring your parent to school day?

    Also, I can't believe you weigh 155 pounds because I could possibly snap you in half. Maybe not in half. A third perhaps? Anyway, in high school I was in a jazz group, and I was backstage putting my dress on and it would not zip up. I never had a bad body image of myself, so that was the first time I was like I'M A FREAK, I WORE THIS 2 WEEKS AGO. I teared up before one of the little petite girls also in the group walked in swimming in her dress who said, "Yeah, I don't think this is mine."

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