What are you hiding in your closet?

April 17, 2010

My brother-in-law has a friend who has a brother-in-law who lives on his own.  Are you keeping up so far? 

This second person mentioned is a highly functioning, yet developmentally slow adult.  Therefore, he relies on his sister for many things, one of which is advice.  So the other day, he called his sister for some advice.  He wanted to know what to do with the leprechaun in his closet. 

I can only assume she has gotten some off-the-wall calls from him like this in the past, because her advice was to throw some Skittles in the closet and she would be over later.  I was not aware of Skittles as the primary dietary supplement of your average leprechaun, but she must have read this information somewhere. 

Surprisingly, her brother called back moments later, as apparently, he needed more information.  He still needed to know what to do next with the leprechaun in his closet.  How does one actually obtain a pot of gold?  Did he need it to be sunny on a rainy day?  His sister started to have some concerns about his mental well-being, so she said she would be right over. 

His sister arrived at his apartment, went to his closet, and received a surprise.  Indeed, in his closet was a little person.  A scared, shaky, candy-covered, female little person. 

As it turns out, this little person was a census worker who had knocked on the door to gather some census data, only to be picked up and wisked away to this gentleman's closet.

She was fine and is not pressing charges, but many things had been learned that day.  I am quite sure the census worker is going to find a way to be more careful, and may never wear green again.  The male adult has learned that some characters in stories are fictional.  And his sister has learned that little people do not really like the taste of the rainbow.

The life-lesson for all of us, is that, while we love it that our children have the wonderful naivete that comes with youth; there comes a time when we need to share some reality.  Most of us learn at an early age that fairy tales are not going to happen in real life.  Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy, and Ed McMahon will never actually show up at our door.  Unfortunately, a lot of us learn these things from older sibs or older kids on the bus, but there are some adults out there who are still believing in fairy tales.

Have you played the lottery lately?  Yeah, I know, somebody has to win. 

Are you looking for your soul mate?  Think there is only one perfect person in the world for you?  While that worked out for me, it may not be reality.

Have your ordered anything from an infomercial lately?  Are all your tomato plants upside down?  Did shining the light in your ear really remove the ear wax?  Are you shaking your way to fitness?

DISCLAIMER:  For all I know, some of these products work.  I haven't tried them, but people do look silly trying those shake weights out.

Are there people in Ireland who still believe in leprechauns?  My coworker is headed to Ireland in a month and says she is going to visit a city where they still believe.  Perhaps I better tell her to unpack the Skittles.