Your Bodega is Bodesious

February 24, 2010

Does anyone out there have a Bodega they need a husband/wife couple to run for them? Or a small shop? Or one of those old One Hour Photo drive ups that has turned into a slushie stand/windshield wiper replacement kiosk?

Target has these places in New York City (and maybe elsewhere, I'm not sure), called Bullseye Bodegas. I have only seen them once in an on-line news article, and it made them sound temporary, but I have chosen to believe they are a permanent corner store in parts of downtown New York. The pix I saw were very cute. While I have NO desire to live in New York, or anywhere colder than here in Cincinnati, I do dream of being the manager of one of those size stores. I thought I would want to own one and be the owner/operator, but I do not have enough expendable income to take on that kind of risk. Plus, I would have to come up with other things besides the money: time, location, an idea for something to sell... That isn't me. However, there have got to be people out there with all those things, but no desire to actually do any of the work opening and running the store. That is where Beth and I come in. We are both trustworthy, great workers, knowledgeable about what it takes to sell merchandise and make the customer happy, have lots of retail experience, and would have no trouble working in the same small space with each other every day. All these qualities can be had for a mere $100,000/year salary. We'll even have CJ work there for free.

When I leave home in the morning for the Target, all I want to do is get through the day and get back home to Beth and CJ. We really truly enjoy each other. We share the same work ethic. And we are tired of having bosses. I hope Beth isn't too tired of having a boss, since I would be her boss. She seems to think the opposite is true, but I let her be the boss at home, so she should let me be the boss at work. "Honey, can I take my tallywacker out of the freezer now? The other guys are taking theirs to the game." A comedian I heard used this line when he lost the upper hand at home. Hey, I don't care if I have the upper hand at home, but at work I do like being able to make a decision once in a while. Lately, all those decisions seem to be getting second guessed, but Beth wouldn't do that to me..right?

CJ's birthday is right before Christmas, so we were trying to decide which gift to give him for birthday, and which one for Christmas. She said she didn't care and didn't want to make the decision, would I please decide? Okay, how about the elephant for birthday, the helicopter for Christmas. Is he spoiled, nah. Anyway, Beth immediately said, no I was thinking the helicopter, then the elephant. Milka wha??? Why did you ask? Oh nevermind.

So, Beth thinks we would not want to share a home and a workspace, that we would fight. Why would we? We don't fight now. Every once in a while we threaten to punch each other in the face, but we are just joking.

A little boy and his dad were walking through the store discussing why he wasn't going to get a certain toy when, all of a sudden, the five or six year old said, "I am going to punch you in the face". Only, he wasn't joking. Yeeesh. So I told this story to Beth and CJ, and now when we are kidding around, one of us will suddenly shout out, "I am going to punch you in the face!" It makes for good wholesome fun.

So I guess if you are on this site recruiting for couples to manage your store, you will be moving on to Leona Helmsley and Bernie Madoff. I haven't really represented myself very well with the whole talleywacker thing or the face-punching. Okay, but you are making a big mistake. Beth and I would run one heck of a bodecious bodega.