What if we each only get one wing and keep flying in circles?

December 5, 2012

Beth and I were discussing, ever so briefly, Bret Bielema this morning.  He just received a $700,000 raise.  Who is he?  He was the football coach for Wisconsin and is now the football coach for Arkansas.  He was making 2.5 million at UW and Arkansas is going to pay him 3.2 million.  Dollars.  American.  Per year.  Beth's observation was that the $700k is really going to be a life-changer for Bret.  (I used the sarcasm font up there.)

Isn't it strange how that kind of money could totally change one person's life while hardly altering another's at all? 

I am not saying Bret's life while not be changing.  I have been to Madison, Wisconsin.  I once lived in Bemidji, Minnesota and drove from Cincinnati to Bemidji a couple times.  Actually, I drove there once in my car, once with a U-Haul, and once with Beth.  So 1+1+1 is...carry the 4...3 times.  I had to use my toes.  Bemidji is 1001 miles from Cincinnati, so let's be crazy and call it 1000 miles.  Madison is 500 miles from Cincy so I would use my protractor and  make that my halfway point and sleep over there.  The hotel was right down the road from the university so I would get exposed to some of the college town while foraging for food.  A lot of pizza joints.  Anyway, it seemed like they lived and breathed for the Badgers there.

I have never been to the home of the Arkansas Razorbacks, Fayetteville, Arkansas, but I am guessing it is different than Madison.  Therefore, Bret is uprooting his family and life to switch jobs.  Life-changing.  That is supposed to be one of life's stressors, changing jobs and moving, but whether you do that with 3 million or 2 million should not matter, right?

To finish this thought (thankfully, I know), Beth was worried today about eating sushi with her coworkers for lunch since we just ate out at Chipotle last night.  Not because of the food, but because of the money.  While I assured her that the $10 would not break us, it amused me that she was worried about ten bucks while somebody in the news was getting a ginormous raise. 

Anyway, speaking of Beth, I need to find her a Christmas gift idea today.  I only need the idea since I am contemplating waiting to see if we are all alive on December 22nd before I buy any gifts.  This makes sense, right?  Here's the scenario.  Life on this planet as we know it is ending.  As we all die, I look at Beth and utter, I love you, and isn't it good that the money is still in the bank and I didn't waste it on a gift?

Speaking of me and logical thinking, here is what else I was wondering about concerning the end of the world.  Is God ready for the number of guests that will be coming?  Usually, He and St Peter have a fairly normal day at The Gates deciding who gets in and all.  Every once in a while they have an unexpected rush like when some misfortune hits such as the horrible typhoon in the Philippines.  However, what happens when all 6,973,738,433 of us show up at the same time. Who plans for 6 trillion guests?  Even if God is all-knowing, how many sets of wings can you get ready by the deadline?

Of course, the entire population of the Earth will not be converging on Heaven.  Some of us are on our way to Hell.  I am not worried about Satan's end-of-the-world prep though.  I imagine there is plenty of fire and brimstone amassed and sleeping arrangements are not the host of Hell's biggest concern.  "Oh, you aren't happy about having to share quarters with Stalin and Manson?  Work it out, we will be here a while."