What about Santa Grandma?

October 21, 2011

I know I promised a photo shoot, but two things have prohibited this from happening.  Number one, Jane spoke for all of you and said you like me just the way I am.  Me Steve, love Jane.

Number two, I tried to download a link to one of the Geico cavemen posing without a shirt and it was possible, but made you jump through some hoops to get to look at it.  I know you make time to come here as an aside to your busy day, so any extra time spent would not be worth it.  You get the idea though-Geico caveman.

I would never put any body shots of myself online anyway, but after I weighed myself yesterday, that seriously not gonna happen.  I told you guys that I weigh 160, but in reality I weigh 166.  I KNOW!  If they sent me to a fat farm, they would have to turn it into a ranch!  The only trip I made out of the house yesterday was to the grocery store to buy Fritos, animal crackers, Mission tortilla strips, and waffle fries.  And this was after I weighed myself.  I may need an intervention. 

What?  Guys whining about weighing 166 pounds is not evoking sympathy?  Oh. Okay.   Moving on.

Wednesday night, I had to sit Beth and CJ down and have a stern talk.  At 3:30, CJ was supposed to do homework while Beth and I ran to The Target, and by the time we returned, he was not very far along.  Distracted much?  The key to homework, I think, is to do it right when you get home since later on there is either band practice or his brain is starting shut down procedures.  This was on display Wednesday as he was having trouble doing math-his best subject-and then Beth tried to help him.  For the record, Beth is the math tutoring guru at the high school, so he is lucky to have her as a resource, but after a certain time she starts to get short with him if he is not getting it fast enough.

Finally, I explained to both of them, that being on vacation for me meant not having to listen to this kind of bickering bs. 

The great thing about these two though, is that after homework was done, 30 minutes later they were giggling together about some nonsense on You Tube.  Whew.

So last night was my turn to help CJ with homework since all it entailed was quizzing him on vocabulary words.  Other than the fact that reading CJ's writing and discerning his spelling can be a challenge, it was an easy assignment for me.  Until he got slap happy and I tried to remain serious while he gave me definitions such as this:

disposition-how I am laying on the couch right now
deride-Millennium Force at Cedar Point
buffoon-dad
antiquated-dad again

His test is today.  I guess we can look forward to another year as a freshman in high school.  Class of 2015, not so much.

The other thing he and I did together yesterday was go to the dentist.  It was his six month cleaning, but it took a little longer since he still had a baby tooth in his head.  His dentist was asking me if I wanted him to pull it, and I was all heck yeah!  That sucker should have been out of there ages ago.  Use a hammer if you have to, or some rusty pliers.  Why rusty ones, not sure.

So out it came.  Dr. L. assured me that he did not use a hammer, he finds his right elbow to be enough force to jar teeth loose.  I think he used to be a professional wrestler.  The surprise was that CJ refused the offer to bring the tooth home to put under his pillow.  I told him that since Grandma is going through this dementia thing, a baby tooth may be worth $40.  He still declined.  Too cool now for the Tooth Grandma.  Growing up too fast.

Then he got in the car for deride home.