Don't you like plants?

March 3, 2011

How sad a situation is this.  We killed a cactus.  The reason we bought the cactus is that we have a tendency to kill any plant that enters our house.  A cactus can live through anything, right?

However, as it turns out, if you take said cactus out to the backyard in the fall to get some sunlight, and then forget about it, it does not do cold weather very well.  I could have sworn I saw some photos from the Iditarod sled dog race that had a cactus in the background, but perhaps not.  Yosemite Sam did not live in Iceland?  Dern tootin' he didn't.  So I have called the life squad to our back porch to see if they can resuscitate the poor, almost lifeless plant.

It reminds me of a time when we lived in our first house.  When we moved in we decided that much of the vegetation growing on the yard was either not especially eye-appealing, or was too hard to control and maintain, so we started removing them.  Our intent was to replace most of them with something different, but the little girl next door had not received the yard project agenda.  One day, as Beth was removing a small, unnecessary tree in our side yard, the little girl said to her, "don't you like plants?"  To get the true affect, you must know that the accent of the little girl was kinda southern, so say it again with me, "don't you like plants?"  So now, every time Beth pulls a weed or kills the perennials in the back yard, I get to channel the little girl, "don't you like plants?"  Beth loves that, by the way.

So we have now added a dead cactus to our plant killin' resume.  It is a true wonder that CJ has lived long and prospered.  He is 14 now and damn big.  We do not always remember to feed him, but otherwise he has gotten love and care beyond that we have given any other green residents of our house.  Not that CJ is green.

 Maybe that is it, Beth has always talked about how it ain't easy bein green, so there seems to be some sort of bias within her not so hidden agenda. 

What would happen if she ran into Al Green?  I don't think they would stay together.  Or Alan Greenspan?  She may have reservations.  Or the Green Bay Packers?  She would not be leapin at Lambeau.  Or the band Green Day?  I don't think she would wake them up on October 1st.   Or the superhero The Green Hornet?  Kato she is not.  The Green Mile might turn into a marathon.

Have I made my point?  Are you green with jealousy over Beth's choice of a husband?  Don't be (she might kill ya).