July 27, 2011
For those of you keeping score at home, July 27, 2011 is the 20th anniversary of the Beth and Steve nuptials. We also got married that day. Har dee har. 20 years together. While no one said out loud that they did not think it would last, I gotta believe that many people out there thought Beth would someday come to her senses. I am happy to report that Beth has not yet become sensicle.
What big plans do we have for our anniversary? Not much really. I have to work and Wednesdays at work sometimes turn into 11 hour days. CJ has band camp until 9pm, so he is out of the picture should we choose to renew our vows. Our church is having their monthly last Wednesday service, and I know Beth would like to go, so that may be our big outing.
Whenever I mention to people that is my wedding anniversary, they always want to know what gift I am giving Beth. It is usually women asking, so the expectation is high that it be something like jewelry, perfume, or a pony. I usually disappoint since I choose not to lie. Being truthful does not mean I say her gift is being married to me, but it also means that I do not easily get away with the "nothing special" response.
Therefore, I have looked up some online help for what the best gift to give Beth for the best 20 years of my life. Here are the suggestions:
Traditional gift, China. That is a long drive and I have to work on Thursday, so China is out.
Modern gift, Platinum. The atomic number of Platinum is 78 and the music in 1978 was not good for me. Night Fever by the Bee Gees was the number one single of the year and I am still trying to get over being sick. Plus, Olivia Newton John-my first celebrity crush-sang with John Travolta and I cannot revisit that disappointing time in my life.
Gemstone, Emerald. I like his cooking, but the whole "Bam!" thing is annoying.
As I look at some of the suggestions on how to throw a 20th anniversary party, I wonder if Beth would have rather had a husband prone to more romance and/or surprises. I think I know her well enough by now that I would guess not, but I am not taking any chances if I am wrong.
Therefore, do not tell Beth, but here are my big plans for tomorrow:
First, I will leave work early since I rarely ever do that for her.
Second, I will pick up some Chinese food.
Third, I will download Three Times a Lady by the Commodores and Kiss You All Over by Exile onto my IPod so we can each have an ear bud to listen to while we eat. That should really set the mood, no?
Finally, I will rent the top movie of 1991 (the year we got married for all of you who did not follow the math), The Silence of the Lambs. Perfect date movie. Also the punch line to one of the better You May be a Redneck jokes.
I guess it is a better movie choice than the first movie Beth and I went to see together on a date, Fatal Attraction.
So Beth will be sufficiently wooed you think? I think so too. I know you are all way jealous right now, but I assure you I am all Beth's. Not available am I. (You saw what happened to the rabbit, right?)
So tomorrow should be the culmination of 20 awesome years together. I love Beth today even more than I did back then. She is beautiful, funny, smart, and a great mom. She is my best friend and the best wife a man could ask for. I will forever be grateful for the grace God has shown by helping a schmuck like me land such an incredible woman.
Plus, she is outside cutting the grass right now since I have typed this Tuesday night, so how can anyone argue that I have married well. I think Beth will be getting the extra egg roll tomorrow. I know, right! Lucky woman.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Not in the face!
July 24, 2011
Being the scientific intellectuals that we are, Beth and I conducted an experiment of sorts this week. First, on Friday we went to the new movie, Friends with Benefits. Then, on Saturday, we rented No Strings Attached. I know, we are just like Pavlov and his dogs with the case studies we have going on over here.
There has been a lot of humorous compare and contrast videos wandering the Internet as the two movies seem to have very similar plots. In the trailers, at least. However, what Beth and I can share with you is that the two movies bear very little similarities either in their story lines or in their quality.
NSA was one of the five worst movies I have ever seen all the way to the end. FWB is one of the five best romantic comedies I have ever seen. Beth and I compared our waste of viewing time for NSA to experiences we have had viewing Waterworld and Barton Fink. Between the three movies, we have lost seven hours of our lives that we will never get back.
Yes, I know that Barton Fink was critically acclaimed, but keep in mind that movie reviews are subjective. Also keep in mind that I am neither Siskel nor Ebert, so my opinion should not be your sole criteria for viewing any of the above mentioned movies.
Had I been given a choice between seeing either NSA or FWB based on the trailers, I would have gone with NSA and assumed both movies would be cheesy. My basis for choosing NSA would have been Natalie Portman. She was adorable in Garden State. Mila Kunis was cute in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but I was not convinced she could beat out Natalie Portman. I have never been a big fan of Ashton Kutcher or his punks. While Justin Timberlake has been funny on SNL, I did not think he could carry a whole movie.
I figured going to see a Justin Timberlake movie would be like how one of CJ's friends described the game Wall Ball they played at school. I have never played it or seen it played, but I gather you get to throw a ball at other people or at a wall. Or you throw a ball at the wall trying to then make it hit somebody. Not sure. However, apparently, if you get hit in the face, you then get to be the one throwing the ball at somebody else. Jack described the moment as the ball was bouncing off the wall as a mixed emotional bag. He would be hoping to get hit in the face so he could then be the one throwing the ball, but he had to GET HIT IN THE FACE! I understand the dilemma.
That is what I thought as we decided to go see FWB. I am going to hopefully see a funny movie, but I have to watch Justin Timberlake acting to do so. My apologies to Justin Timberlake and his acting coach.
Then comes the writing. The exchanges between the two characters in FWB were priceless. You really have to pay attention as some of the barbs come at you rather quickly, but I really enjoyed the witty repartee. Throw in some memorable scenes like JT performing the Kriss Kross, classic, Jump, and be prepared to laugh yourself silly. Even the supporting characters play key roles in the funny.
I will not play spoiler to any more of the movie, but I will tell you that I would recommend it.
Please feel free to share your opinions if you have seen any of the above mentioned movies. Unless your opinion involves throwing a ball at my face.
Being the scientific intellectuals that we are, Beth and I conducted an experiment of sorts this week. First, on Friday we went to the new movie, Friends with Benefits. Then, on Saturday, we rented No Strings Attached. I know, we are just like Pavlov and his dogs with the case studies we have going on over here.
There has been a lot of humorous compare and contrast videos wandering the Internet as the two movies seem to have very similar plots. In the trailers, at least. However, what Beth and I can share with you is that the two movies bear very little similarities either in their story lines or in their quality.
NSA was one of the five worst movies I have ever seen all the way to the end. FWB is one of the five best romantic comedies I have ever seen. Beth and I compared our waste of viewing time for NSA to experiences we have had viewing Waterworld and Barton Fink. Between the three movies, we have lost seven hours of our lives that we will never get back.
Yes, I know that Barton Fink was critically acclaimed, but keep in mind that movie reviews are subjective. Also keep in mind that I am neither Siskel nor Ebert, so my opinion should not be your sole criteria for viewing any of the above mentioned movies.
Had I been given a choice between seeing either NSA or FWB based on the trailers, I would have gone with NSA and assumed both movies would be cheesy. My basis for choosing NSA would have been Natalie Portman. She was adorable in Garden State. Mila Kunis was cute in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but I was not convinced she could beat out Natalie Portman. I have never been a big fan of Ashton Kutcher or his punks. While Justin Timberlake has been funny on SNL, I did not think he could carry a whole movie.
I figured going to see a Justin Timberlake movie would be like how one of CJ's friends described the game Wall Ball they played at school. I have never played it or seen it played, but I gather you get to throw a ball at other people or at a wall. Or you throw a ball at the wall trying to then make it hit somebody. Not sure. However, apparently, if you get hit in the face, you then get to be the one throwing the ball at somebody else. Jack described the moment as the ball was bouncing off the wall as a mixed emotional bag. He would be hoping to get hit in the face so he could then be the one throwing the ball, but he had to GET HIT IN THE FACE! I understand the dilemma.
That is what I thought as we decided to go see FWB. I am going to hopefully see a funny movie, but I have to watch Justin Timberlake acting to do so. My apologies to Justin Timberlake and his acting coach.
Then comes the writing. The exchanges between the two characters in FWB were priceless. You really have to pay attention as some of the barbs come at you rather quickly, but I really enjoyed the witty repartee. Throw in some memorable scenes like JT performing the Kriss Kross, classic, Jump, and be prepared to laugh yourself silly. Even the supporting characters play key roles in the funny.
I will not play spoiler to any more of the movie, but I will tell you that I would recommend it.
Please feel free to share your opinions if you have seen any of the above mentioned movies. Unless your opinion involves throwing a ball at my face.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Be careful what you wish for
July 19, 2011
It is day two of my 7 day vacation away from The Target, and I have the house to myself all of a sudden. CJ is at band camp learning how to march, and Beth is at Target. If it was just a grocery trip, I would go with Beth; however, I do not want to see Target for a week.
Yesterday was spent at the allergist's office. I have had allergies my whole life but never had a specific diagnosis. It has also never been a huge problem for me until the past couple years. I do not get rashes and my throat does not close up, but I have been getting allergic reactions that conquer my sinus passages and rapidly develop into infections or bronchitis. It was time to see if I could prevent the allergy part and hold off on the infections.
So yesterday, as I sat in the doctor's office, it delta dawned on me that I felt great. This always happens to me. I tear a meniscus in my knee such that I can barely walk, but when I am sitting in the doctor's office, it feels great. If I lived in a medical building, I would never be sick.
Thus, the doctor is having me fill out papers and asking me probing questions like:
Reactions to pet dander?
Reactions to food such as bananas or nuts?
Any diarrhea or vomiting?
Darn it, no. A guy at work had his whole face swell up when he ate banana. Why not me? Why can I not have explosive rectal evacutations?
It is weird, I do not really want to be sick, much less dying, but I do want to justify the need to go to the doctor. I am eating up my HSA account by telling you that I sneeze when I cut the grass.
Okay, questions are done, here come the pricks. Settle down. They prick your arm 46 times with different potential allergens, then you wait 15 minutes to see if the prick turns into a red bump. Man, I wanted to look like a leper, but instead I looked like an intravenous drug user with piss poor aim. This test showed I had mild allergic reactions to Bermuda grasses, type 5A grasses, and Epicoccum mold.
Type 5 grasses include KY Bluegrass, Orchard, Redtop, Timothy, and Sweet Vernal. The previous owner of this house told me he did not know how to start a lawn when it was built, so he put down 4 kinds of grass seed. I'm guessing some of the above were included since I hear hillbillies with fiddles sometimes and I have an Aunt Verna.
These grasses are most pungent in the spring, and that is when I had the most issues.
As for the mold, I think it is the kind that holds Jello. We used to have one in the kitchen cabinet, but I threw it out yesterday. One problem solved.
I had to ask the doctor though about oranges and their juice. When I was a teen ager, I drank some orange juice, sneezed about 12 times, and then had a cold for three days. I attributed it to the orange juice. Logical, I thought. I have never had any since. I used to even look at the ingredients of Mountain Dew and see "orange juice" on there and wonder if it was affecting me somehow. (I used to drink several Mt Dews per diem). Last year, Beth peeled an orange in the same room with me, I caught some of the vapors up my nostrils, sneezed 12 times and had a cold for the next three days.
The allergy test for oranges was negative. ??? Coincidence? I guess, but I am not rushing out to have lunch with Anita Bryant anytime soon. Gosh, what an old reference. I really need some new material. Who promotes oranges now? I will look it up. I just sneezed when I typed "Anita Bryant".
WOW!!! I googled orange juice commercials and was instantly distracted by "lesbian orange juice commercial". It turned out to be an actual commercial for orange juice, and I do really want some right now, but I could not tell you any new info on who promotes oranges or their juice. I am fairly certain Anita Bryant was not in the commercial. Wow.
madeyoulookyoudirtycrook.com
What I have learned about my allergies though, is that when you combine a mild allergy with stress and fatigue, you get sick. Thus the infections and bronchitus.
I have also learned that if you swing and axe at an orange tree, juice will come out. At least I think that is the message, I should go do some more research. Hi Beth. :o
I may soon be at the doctor's office with a real case of the head injuries. Got my wish!
It is day two of my 7 day vacation away from The Target, and I have the house to myself all of a sudden. CJ is at band camp learning how to march, and Beth is at Target. If it was just a grocery trip, I would go with Beth; however, I do not want to see Target for a week.
Yesterday was spent at the allergist's office. I have had allergies my whole life but never had a specific diagnosis. It has also never been a huge problem for me until the past couple years. I do not get rashes and my throat does not close up, but I have been getting allergic reactions that conquer my sinus passages and rapidly develop into infections or bronchitis. It was time to see if I could prevent the allergy part and hold off on the infections.
So yesterday, as I sat in the doctor's office, it delta dawned on me that I felt great. This always happens to me. I tear a meniscus in my knee such that I can barely walk, but when I am sitting in the doctor's office, it feels great. If I lived in a medical building, I would never be sick.
Thus, the doctor is having me fill out papers and asking me probing questions like:
Reactions to pet dander?
Reactions to food such as bananas or nuts?
Any diarrhea or vomiting?
Darn it, no. A guy at work had his whole face swell up when he ate banana. Why not me? Why can I not have explosive rectal evacutations?
It is weird, I do not really want to be sick, much less dying, but I do want to justify the need to go to the doctor. I am eating up my HSA account by telling you that I sneeze when I cut the grass.
Okay, questions are done, here come the pricks. Settle down. They prick your arm 46 times with different potential allergens, then you wait 15 minutes to see if the prick turns into a red bump. Man, I wanted to look like a leper, but instead I looked like an intravenous drug user with piss poor aim. This test showed I had mild allergic reactions to Bermuda grasses, type 5A grasses, and Epicoccum mold.
Type 5 grasses include KY Bluegrass, Orchard, Redtop, Timothy, and Sweet Vernal. The previous owner of this house told me he did not know how to start a lawn when it was built, so he put down 4 kinds of grass seed. I'm guessing some of the above were included since I hear hillbillies with fiddles sometimes and I have an Aunt Verna.
These grasses are most pungent in the spring, and that is when I had the most issues.
As for the mold, I think it is the kind that holds Jello. We used to have one in the kitchen cabinet, but I threw it out yesterday. One problem solved.
I had to ask the doctor though about oranges and their juice. When I was a teen ager, I drank some orange juice, sneezed about 12 times, and then had a cold for three days. I attributed it to the orange juice. Logical, I thought. I have never had any since. I used to even look at the ingredients of Mountain Dew and see "orange juice" on there and wonder if it was affecting me somehow. (I used to drink several Mt Dews per diem). Last year, Beth peeled an orange in the same room with me, I caught some of the vapors up my nostrils, sneezed 12 times and had a cold for the next three days.
The allergy test for oranges was negative. ??? Coincidence? I guess, but I am not rushing out to have lunch with Anita Bryant anytime soon. Gosh, what an old reference. I really need some new material. Who promotes oranges now? I will look it up. I just sneezed when I typed "Anita Bryant".
WOW!!! I googled orange juice commercials and was instantly distracted by "lesbian orange juice commercial". It turned out to be an actual commercial for orange juice, and I do really want some right now, but I could not tell you any new info on who promotes oranges or their juice. I am fairly certain Anita Bryant was not in the commercial. Wow.
madeyoulookyoudirtycrook.com
What I have learned about my allergies though, is that when you combine a mild allergy with stress and fatigue, you get sick. Thus the infections and bronchitus.
I have also learned that if you swing and axe at an orange tree, juice will come out. At least I think that is the message, I should go do some more research. Hi Beth. :o
I may soon be at the doctor's office with a real case of the head injuries. Got my wish!
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Summer, why do we love thee?
July 16, 2011
Why a tribute to Elke Summer, you may be wondering? Who the heck is Elke Summer (Sommer)? Not really sure. She was a model/actress back in the 60's. No, this post is not about her.
What about Summer Sanders? The Olympic gold medal winning swimmer from 1992? No.
This is a photo montage of our summer. I promised my sister some photos and I have some from the highlights of our recent activities, so let the fun begin:
Why a tribute to Elke Summer, you may be wondering? Who the heck is Elke Summer (Sommer)? Not really sure. She was a model/actress back in the 60's. No, this post is not about her.
What about Summer Sanders? The Olympic gold medal winning swimmer from 1992? No.
This is a photo montage of our summer. I promised my sister some photos and I have some from the highlights of our recent activities, so let the fun begin:
We found toe prints on the shelf of our microwave stand in the kitchen. Did a raccoon get in? Should we call a critter ridder? Uh, no.
Julia was here! There must have been something of value to her on the top shelf. I wonder if she got it?
These are the young ladies (and their mom) for whom I chaperoned Beth to Indianapolis. I hope mom does not read my blog. If so, fierce shoes, Grandma. The beautiful young lady in white will be wedding a nice young man in September. She is now clean. It is hard to tell as I could not find any really awesome photos of her from the shower. Also pictured, her sisters. Together, they are my favorite nieces-in-law from Indiana.
Beth befriended the host's daughter, Julia. I know! They are like twins, the Julias. This Julia had just said to Beth, "Here comes him with the camera again." Actually, I was not at their house for the shower as I am a man and no men allowed. I had gone to a movie and then made a friend in the host's basement.
Plymouth. We are now buds. Part of the He Man Women Haters Club, banished to the basement. Obviously, Plymouth is in the back yard for this photo. I was lucky to not be banished outside as well. I had to snap the photos, Plymouth has no thumbs.
No, we are not the proud owners of a new hamster. We are currently pet-sitting a friend's hamster, Fifi. Beth has proven once again that we cannot be pet owners as she has taken to this cute little thing. She has fed it gourmet carrots and cherries and nursed it back to health every time it flings itself around its wheel from running too fast. I think it was the sugar buzz from the cherries. (No Rowen, Fifi was never actually harmed, as far as you know.)
What has CJ been doing? Soon, this cocoon will become a beautiful butter-boy.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Ba dum bum
July 9, 2011
We have new manager at work, who I will call Bethany. She is destined to be a good addition. Target thinks so because she is energetic and has a good head on her shoulders. However, that is not why I think so.
The other day we were discussing the day's sales and she told me things were picking up because she just saw a man go through the checkouts with a cart full of kitty litter. I said that was so weird since earlier I saw a cat go through the checkouts with a bunch of toilet paper. She laughed very hard, thus allowing me to assess her as a good manager. Priorities people.
So as July goes, it has been an interesting month. CJ has marched in the holiday parade with his tenors and learned that after carrying them for 6 hours, they get heavy. Someone had to lift them off of him at the end of the parade. No, the parade was not 6 hours. They did not march from here to Dayton. There was practicing and rehearsals and practicing and marching. And it is July. A little warm. I Heard him for all of 20 seconds and he sounded great.
Tomorrow, we drive to Indianapolis for our niece's wedding shower. I will be chauffeuring Beth and her mother for this excursion. Men are not allowed at the shower. Is this a blessing? Or does something go on at these things I need to know about? What this does mean is that I will be driving and then finding something to do in Indy for a couple hours. Hmmm. Wings and beer probably a bad idea.
Shower tomorrow means clothes buying today for Beth. She does not have a closet full of clothes ripe for any occasion. Girl never buys clothes, and then wears the ones she has until they are no longer nice enough to be seen at a shower. Something about that sentence looks weird. Anyway, Beth is out in the world shopping for clothes, which is an activity she enjoys as much as she likes plucking her eyebrows. AND, she is PMSing right now. If you see a news break later about a department store clerk who was "allegedly" bitch-slapped, please recommend a good defense attorney.
I now have the house to myself as CJ just left to go to play rehearsal. He is part of the tech crew-in charge of the light board. High school plays are not especially tech tricky, so it sounds like a long 5 hours. It is 5 hours away from the game system, so that is good. His girlfriend is in the play, so maybe he will actually say hi to her. Smooth like his old man, this kid is.
So me and my new chaise lounge have an appointment. I always feel bad about stealing away from Beth and CJ to tap into the IPod and lounge for awhile, so today seems like the right time. Plus, I bought one of those clip on bug repellents, so I will be livin it up, livin it up, oh yeah. Aaaah.
Wait, did someone just fire up their circular saw? Good grief!
We have new manager at work, who I will call Bethany. She is destined to be a good addition. Target thinks so because she is energetic and has a good head on her shoulders. However, that is not why I think so.
The other day we were discussing the day's sales and she told me things were picking up because she just saw a man go through the checkouts with a cart full of kitty litter. I said that was so weird since earlier I saw a cat go through the checkouts with a bunch of toilet paper. She laughed very hard, thus allowing me to assess her as a good manager. Priorities people.
So as July goes, it has been an interesting month. CJ has marched in the holiday parade with his tenors and learned that after carrying them for 6 hours, they get heavy. Someone had to lift them off of him at the end of the parade. No, the parade was not 6 hours. They did not march from here to Dayton. There was practicing and rehearsals and practicing and marching. And it is July. A little warm. I Heard him for all of 20 seconds and he sounded great.
Tomorrow, we drive to Indianapolis for our niece's wedding shower. I will be chauffeuring Beth and her mother for this excursion. Men are not allowed at the shower. Is this a blessing? Or does something go on at these things I need to know about? What this does mean is that I will be driving and then finding something to do in Indy for a couple hours. Hmmm. Wings and beer probably a bad idea.
Shower tomorrow means clothes buying today for Beth. She does not have a closet full of clothes ripe for any occasion. Girl never buys clothes, and then wears the ones she has until they are no longer nice enough to be seen at a shower. Something about that sentence looks weird. Anyway, Beth is out in the world shopping for clothes, which is an activity she enjoys as much as she likes plucking her eyebrows. AND, she is PMSing right now. If you see a news break later about a department store clerk who was "allegedly" bitch-slapped, please recommend a good defense attorney.
I now have the house to myself as CJ just left to go to play rehearsal. He is part of the tech crew-in charge of the light board. High school plays are not especially tech tricky, so it sounds like a long 5 hours. It is 5 hours away from the game system, so that is good. His girlfriend is in the play, so maybe he will actually say hi to her. Smooth like his old man, this kid is.
So me and my new chaise lounge have an appointment. I always feel bad about stealing away from Beth and CJ to tap into the IPod and lounge for awhile, so today seems like the right time. Plus, I bought one of those clip on bug repellents, so I will be livin it up, livin it up, oh yeah. Aaaah.
Wait, did someone just fire up their circular saw? Good grief!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
I am guessing you don't line the rim with salt
June 28, 2011
As I told you, I am the acting store manager this week at The Target, so everyone gave me grief about not bringing doughnuts to work yesterday. If I were ever the actual store manager, I do not think I would want my main contribution to be doughnuts.
So, as I walked the store yesterday, I came across a situation that I wondered if I was going to have to make a decision about. Not that I made no decisions yesterday, I made a bunch (ie creamer with coffee, route to work, run the yellow light, what parking space-you know, important stuff), this decision just had the makings of something important and unusual.
As I turned a corner by electronics, I encountered a man and a woman and a baby. As I started to ask if they needed any help, I noticed that the baby was hanging off the woman's breasticle-nursing. Okay.
This was awkward at first because I had just asked her if she needed any help. It was similar to the time I had walked up to a guest who had her back to me and asked if she needed any help finding anything. As she turned around, it became apparent she was adjusting her bra strap. It was also apparent that she was wondering if the person asking her was being weird or not. I am quite sure the rush of blood to my face made it fairly clear that I had not intended to be weird or creepy-just bad timing. In case you were wondering, she found what she was looking for.
As for my trip into the land of National Geographic periodicals yesterday, this guest did not need any help either. Looked like she had it under control. If you are waiting for me to say how embarrassed I was again, this time I was not. I am not easily thrown off my game and wasn't this time either. It may have been because Beth and I had just watched the movie Babies Sunday evening and had gotten rather used to seeing the woman from Namibia keep the milk bags free the whole movie, but is also just because this act is a natural thing and not sexual in any way.
That being said, isn't it strange how a woman nursing with a breast hanging out is not sexual, but a nipple slip from Brittany Spears is broadcast all over You Tube? Interesting.
I walked away from this guest and did not ask her to put lunch away, or step off the floor, or cover anything up. However, I wondered if I was going to get a guest complaint at some point. Not everyone takes to open displays of nutrition. What if somebody suddenly thought we had opened a different sort of lemonade stand and there became a line? What would my decision be?
Fortunately, it never came to be. Either lunch was wrapped up or I am the only one walking around the store looking at women's breasts. Hi Beth.
I think I would have explained to any complainant that it was her right to do this and perhaps have offered the woman a more private location. I am not certain what I would have done since this situation does not come up in any training manuals.
How about you? Would you have been offended? On what grounds? I need some research for next time.
As I told you, I am the acting store manager this week at The Target, so everyone gave me grief about not bringing doughnuts to work yesterday. If I were ever the actual store manager, I do not think I would want my main contribution to be doughnuts.
So, as I walked the store yesterday, I came across a situation that I wondered if I was going to have to make a decision about. Not that I made no decisions yesterday, I made a bunch (ie creamer with coffee, route to work, run the yellow light, what parking space-you know, important stuff), this decision just had the makings of something important and unusual.
As I turned a corner by electronics, I encountered a man and a woman and a baby. As I started to ask if they needed any help, I noticed that the baby was hanging off the woman's breasticle-nursing. Okay.
This was awkward at first because I had just asked her if she needed any help. It was similar to the time I had walked up to a guest who had her back to me and asked if she needed any help finding anything. As she turned around, it became apparent she was adjusting her bra strap. It was also apparent that she was wondering if the person asking her was being weird or not. I am quite sure the rush of blood to my face made it fairly clear that I had not intended to be weird or creepy-just bad timing. In case you were wondering, she found what she was looking for.
As for my trip into the land of National Geographic periodicals yesterday, this guest did not need any help either. Looked like she had it under control. If you are waiting for me to say how embarrassed I was again, this time I was not. I am not easily thrown off my game and wasn't this time either. It may have been because Beth and I had just watched the movie Babies Sunday evening and had gotten rather used to seeing the woman from Namibia keep the milk bags free the whole movie, but is also just because this act is a natural thing and not sexual in any way.
That being said, isn't it strange how a woman nursing with a breast hanging out is not sexual, but a nipple slip from Brittany Spears is broadcast all over You Tube? Interesting.
I walked away from this guest and did not ask her to put lunch away, or step off the floor, or cover anything up. However, I wondered if I was going to get a guest complaint at some point. Not everyone takes to open displays of nutrition. What if somebody suddenly thought we had opened a different sort of lemonade stand and there became a line? What would my decision be?
Fortunately, it never came to be. Either lunch was wrapped up or I am the only one walking around the store looking at women's breasts. Hi Beth.
I think I would have explained to any complainant that it was her right to do this and perhaps have offered the woman a more private location. I am not certain what I would have done since this situation does not come up in any training manuals.
How about you? Would you have been offended? On what grounds? I need some research for next time.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
June 25, 2011
It has been a crazy week at work and I am very glad to have the weekend off. Next week I have to train an intern, train a new manager, and act as store manager while he is away on vacation. In addition, I have to make sure we are getting the store ready for the upcoming transition to back to school. I know, BTS already? The week of July 4th you will start to see backpacks and notebooks, and the other tools of the school trade. It is one of my least favorite sets not because of what it is, but what it represents-the end of summer. I realize school does not start for another 6-8 weeks depending on where you live, but I hate seeing patio stuff go away only to be stuck with glue sticks. Good grief!
As for the weekend, we have huge plans. Huge, I tell ya. Right now, CJ is making a cheese sandwich without bread and I am stuck in the time sucking vortex which is the computer. We slept in until after 9am today, then ate biscuits, and then watched Jim Gaffigan on Net Flix.
We have free trial of Net Flix for about 30 days, so we are finding out that we have not really missed much in the cinematic world the past 12-15 years. I guess the really big blockbusters aren't on there, but I have not been overwhelmed with two thumbs up choices.
We have enjoyed the stand up comedians such as Gaffigan and Brian Regan, but the only other movies I have watched all the way through were Salt and Easy A. Both were good enough, but Net Flix may not be something we ever pay for.
Last night Beth and I went to our local downtown and watched a bicycle criterium. A criterium, or crit, is a bike race held on a short course. It actually had professional bike racers in attendance who competed for prize money in addition to races for children and amateurs. We did not stay too long as I was pretty tired, but we did see one whole stage 3 race and the kids' races. Oddly enough, the crash was in the race for the little kids. The professional stage 3 race was 50 kilometers and only about 20 of the original 40 entrants were around for the finish. They looked pretty tired by the end. These old knees of mine cannot even imagine doing 50 kilos on a bike.
The other really fun part about the night was that Beth got to make lots of jokes about sausages and bicycle pants. I will simply let you imagine the hilarity.
It has been a crazy week at work and I am very glad to have the weekend off. Next week I have to train an intern, train a new manager, and act as store manager while he is away on vacation. In addition, I have to make sure we are getting the store ready for the upcoming transition to back to school. I know, BTS already? The week of July 4th you will start to see backpacks and notebooks, and the other tools of the school trade. It is one of my least favorite sets not because of what it is, but what it represents-the end of summer. I realize school does not start for another 6-8 weeks depending on where you live, but I hate seeing patio stuff go away only to be stuck with glue sticks. Good grief!
As for the weekend, we have huge plans. Huge, I tell ya. Right now, CJ is making a cheese sandwich without bread and I am stuck in the time sucking vortex which is the computer. We slept in until after 9am today, then ate biscuits, and then watched Jim Gaffigan on Net Flix.
We have free trial of Net Flix for about 30 days, so we are finding out that we have not really missed much in the cinematic world the past 12-15 years. I guess the really big blockbusters aren't on there, but I have not been overwhelmed with two thumbs up choices.
We have enjoyed the stand up comedians such as Gaffigan and Brian Regan, but the only other movies I have watched all the way through were Salt and Easy A. Both were good enough, but Net Flix may not be something we ever pay for.
Last night Beth and I went to our local downtown and watched a bicycle criterium. A criterium, or crit, is a bike race held on a short course. It actually had professional bike racers in attendance who competed for prize money in addition to races for children and amateurs. We did not stay too long as I was pretty tired, but we did see one whole stage 3 race and the kids' races. Oddly enough, the crash was in the race for the little kids. The professional stage 3 race was 50 kilometers and only about 20 of the original 40 entrants were around for the finish. They looked pretty tired by the end. These old knees of mine cannot even imagine doing 50 kilos on a bike.
The other really fun part about the night was that Beth got to make lots of jokes about sausages and bicycle pants. I will simply let you imagine the hilarity.
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